Please pardon the disruption in semi-irregular posting…

I’ve been sickie-pooh. Missed work yesterday, haven’t looked at schoolwork, husband is doing all chores & feeding me. (Whine, sniffle, grouse *cough* snort, sniff.) I’m doing a little better, hope to improve my attitude even more by Friday, then re-engage my brain to catch up on posting & homework. Eh, Happy Spring and what not.

The medicine works – I can breathe, but my boogers are all dried out.

Jessica Gottlieb, and why I blog

I “met” Jessica Wilzig Gottlieb on twitter, and we’re “facebook friends” too – and I’m not even a mommy, neener-neener. Jessica rocks – she’s sharp, witty, a green mom, and posts her mother‘s great iPhone photos. She invited me to join The Diagonals, a Ning group for bloggers who “don’t fit into traditional slots” (heh heh, she said “slots”). Apparently, as an atheist, porn-loving, self-employed non-breeder, I qualify. I kinda thought blogging *is* non-traditional behavior, which might give one a clue as to my age. (In case it doesn’t: I’m 45, for two more months.)

One of the first group questions posted was “Why do you blog?” I thought I would share it here, too.
So this is my excuse for blogging as of March 14, 2009 (subject to change with guaranteed lack of notice):

I blog because I’m trying to find my voice and challenge myself to say what I mean, and mean what I say. I like the format, with its combination of safety and danger. I can express myself clearly and have editing to fall back on; I can control the environment via moderation. At same time, some of my thoughts, politics, and opinions are unacceptable, at least in my immediate family and social circle. I’ve got to get it out somehow!

I want to thank Jessica here in my own space, too – THANKS, JESSICA! And point you to her many activities. Besides the links above, she’s at http://www.Sanctimommy.com, http://ecochildsplay.com, and http://www.celsias.com. Following her almost makes me wish I were back in So-Cal, just so I could hook up with her some time IRL and see the dynamo in action!

In unrelated news that’s on my mind this afternoon…
Millwall lost their home match DAMMIT!!! but Liverpool beat Manchester United – at Old Trafford! We’re not going to the Earthquakes‘ last pre-season game tonight. But our home opener is next Saturday, against the New England Revolution, and I can’t wait. As promised, I’ll be putting blue in my hair for every home match, and will take the photos to prove it. Too bad the semi-permanent blue hair dye doesn’t last more than a few shampoos – I quite enjoyed the blue streaks applied so artfully by friend Wendy during the holidays! Okay, back go housekeeping before company arrives – happy Saturday to all.

Mostly a wail over family

Happy Wednesday! It’s already 11 March; I’m still not doing enough training for my half-marathon walk in April. Meh, I’ll finish, just maybe not on the official clock!

Yesterday, I began working for a friend of mine. I’ll be going in two days a week to start, helping the paralegal/office manager take care of both partners. I’m soooooooo excited to be working outside the home, and in Carmel . Great environment. Do have to work on my phone manners, tho’ – I felt like a total dork playing at being a receptionist. Jeez, I’ve been working for almost 30 years, you’d think I could handle taking a proper message. First day jitters, I guess. I did get to do some billable work, and hope that, down the line, I’ll be doing lots more to REALLY contribute to the practice. An added pleasure is one partner, who is a long-time friend, happens to be one of my very favorite people in the world. And he’s totally HOT!! I’ll stop with that; not sure whether I’ve already shared dabbleponder URL with him, and don’t want to get fired for sexual harassment in my first week. Or for his wife to wanna kick my ass… (Really, K.M., I’m all talk, no action!!)

So what I really wanted to discuss is my family and their faith. And the problems I have accepting that I’m the one who has changed and they will never change.

You may have seen the reports of the 9-year-old girl in Brazil who was raped by her stepfather (I first heard of it via Sean The Blogonaut). The adults who helped her abort, the doctors and her mother, were pronounced excommunicated from the Church by the local Archbishop. The stepfather was not automatically excommunicated. The Vatican shared its support of the Archbishop. *deep, hopeless sigh* My parents and youngest sister, known here as Sister Christian, also side with the church.

You see, I sent a “family-wide” email soliciting their reaction, asking for their personal feelings, as opposed to their reactions as Catholic, pro-life activists. Especially since SC’s middle child is also a nine-year-old girl. I am so naïve. Their personal feelings = their beliefs = church dogma. There is no other argument or “facts” available. Of course, they are equally horrified by what happened to the victim, but (just like the church says) she was victimized a second time by being forced to endure the abortion. The images below are screen caps of emails from SC & my pops. Both can be thoughtful and articulate; rational or able to step away from the dogma, they are not. (Click to view larger image in new window.) I post them like this because, well, I wanted their words to speak for them.

SC’s first response:

When I specified “no, really, what do YOU think”, she continued:
And then Dad wrote (click to embiggen in new window):
They are so brainwashed by the cult of the fetus, they argue that the four-month-old unborn twins were likely to survive a cesarean. What about the nine-year-old mother?!?!?!?

Mom chimed in too, sending a link to a pro-church editorial from a pro-life site. Mom referred to her timely receipt of their message as a “godincidence”. Yeah, funny such an opinion should be published, just as this story makes the rounds of international newswires and blogs.

Okay, I am done with this topic, at least until they push another one of my buttons. Writing this way helps me process this… situation with my family. It is one thing to read crazy blatherings from religious wackos on websites and the occasional blog trolls. But having it in the family is rough. I know, I know, I should not be surprised; I know their opinions and beliefs, intimately. My Sweetie is never surprised, except at my reaction!

Full disclosure: I have not shared this blog with that part of my family; no doubt, if they looked hard enough, they could find it. Dad would say I am committing the sin of lying by omission; I have failed to openly assert my (somewhat rabid) atheism and support of the right to choose. Some 10 years ago, I admitted to my brother-in-law, SC’s hubby, that I was an atheist; he explicitly warned me against telling SC & my folks. I like to think I have passively come out: When religion comes up, always in F2F conversations, I take the skeptical or anti-faith stance. And boy does it push their buttons. If ever they ask “you = atheist, yes or no?” I will admit, but I’m not volunteering anything otherwise. They make me crazy, but I still love them. And I especially don’t want to be cut off from the niece and nephews! I’m the COOL aunt, with all the tattoos, fart jokes and cute profanity, dammit!

M.O.E. is no mo’

Sorry to be flip, if you’re sensitive to that kind of thing, but we had to let M.O.E. go on Sunday evening. I refused to be there; I just did not want to deal with it. My kind-hearted Sweetie got the vet to stay a little late so I would not have to A) worry about it all Sunday night, nor B) take her in by myself on Monday. An ironic sign of how right it was – according to Sweetie, the vet assistants came in to pet M.O.E. & say good-by – and she let them. Without growling or hissing at anyone. Poor thing was really far gone. Some consolation – M.O.E. had the best life an ex-shelter kitty could want while she was here; now she is pain-free and does not have to worry about our other (dumb) cat bothering her ever again. And the $1200 or so in vet bills for her last 10-12 days? Well… I figure we probably would have spent that if we had had her for the other 10-12 years of her life. We did what we could to try and bring her back to health, but she was just too old and/or too sick.

The other (dumb) cat, Otto, is now officially king of the apartment. He gets all the kitty furniture to himself, can wander at will, and does not have to share toys or treats. He seems pretty pleased with himself. He better not get fuckin’ sick for a long time, tho’!! He’s only about 4-6 years old (we think), and is up-to-date with his shots & checkups.

Okay, enough pussy talk. There are a few other things bubbling at the back of my mind, waiting to be shared, but I’m going to save them for Wednesday. My favorite time to practice blogging is around 7 a.m., after Sweetie’s gone to work. So that’s the plan – me & laptop, meeting for coffee, right here, in about 12 hours. Whoo-hoo!

Update on M.O.E.

Well, M.O.E. got admitted to the kitty hospital yesterday; she’s apparently in renal failure, is anemic and has a urinary infection. I called at 8 a.m. today, and she was growling at the vet tech, which is a good sign (scratching would be better, since that’s her normal reaction to being handled. Yes, she’s quite a lover, that one.) They were giving her meds orally, and she’s on an IV, of course. Poor little kitty! The vet also figured she’s well into her teens. The rescue shelter estimated her age as much younger (3-7 years!), but shortly after we adopted her, I figured she was at least 10.

This may sound inhumane to some kitty mommies, but we put a dollar limit on M.O.E.’s treatment before we went to the vet. Thankfully, her 2-day stay was estimated well under the limit. It’s all we can do; the vet said she has a 50/50 chance of making it.

I am keeping myself detached as much as I can. It has only been two years since we lost our Bijou (after I had her 18+ years) and I don’t want to get all emotionally jacked up if I don’t have to. I just wish it didn’t take so long to see results. Ugh, I hate animal hospitals almost as much as people hospitals……..

UPDATED Update: Vet says she’s getting better; she ate last night, she’s been eating today & taking her meds and peeing okay. They’ll check her blood again tomorrow. If she has improved significantly, I can take her home; if there’s only slight improvement, we’ll have to talk about it. And this assumes she continues to improve, for which I am optimistic.